Q100 :Some years ago I married an English girl who
decided later to convert to Islam, without any pressure from me. We had
then to move to Denmark where we have been living for the last few
years. Needless to say, that has restricted our visiting my
parents-in-law. It so happens that my wife and children visit her
parents for two weeks at Christmas time. The parents accept the fact
that their daughter has benete a Muslim and respect Islamic teachings
with regard to food and drink when she is with them, to the extent that
we do not see pork or an alcoholic drink in their home during our
visits. My wife gives them gifts at Christmas and they in return give
her and my children presents at Christmas. I am thinking of telling my
wife not to visit them next Christmas. Please advise.
A100 : A woman netpanion of the Prophet once told
him that her mother had nete to visit her, and that the mother was a
non-believer who shared the pagan beliefs of the Arabs. She asked the
Prophet whether it was appropriate for her to be kind and dutiful to
her mother. The Prophet ordered her to be so. You have been following
the proper practice which Islam urges by maintaining good relations
with your wife’s parents. From what you have said about their behavior,
they seem to be broad-minded people who will not cause you, your wife
or children any harm. You may maintain warm relations with them. Nor
is there any harm in giving them gifts on Christmas, because the
Prophet did not instruct Muslims not to do so. On the contrary, giving
non-believers presents on their festive occasions is encouraged as long
as they behave in a proper manner toward Muslims and Islam. Your
parents-in-law seem to fall in this category of people. If you feel
uneasy about your children developing the habit of associating
Christmas with festivity and good presents from their grandparents,
then perhaps you could suggest to your parents-in-law, in a gentle way
that does not offend them, that you would prefer that they delay the
gifts to your children until the new year, or some other occasion, such
as Eid. You should try to make sure first that they will receive your
suggestion without taking offense, and that they will be acnetmodating.
If you determine that they may be offended at your suggestion, then it
may be more advisable not to broach the subject at all. Instead, you
can explain to your children that the gifts they receive at Christmas
have no religious value. From what you tell me about your children and
the way they cope with interfaith relationship, I feel that they will
easily understand.
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News – Jeddah )