Q456 :When a women learns of her husband intending a
second marriage, is it permissible for her to tell him that he may not
bring his second wife in her home and that he must provide a second
acnetmodation for her. Can she say that even when her husband has only
a small house provided to him by the netpany and he has only a limited
innete which may not be sufficient to keep two houses. Can he choose a
Christian woman for his second wife?
A456 : Islam views marriage as a relationship
between human beings. Therefore, the rights and privileges as well as
the feelings and emotions of each partner in this relationship must be
taken into consideration. Since the woman is the weaker partner in a
marriage relationship, Islam has taken care to ensure that her rights
are respected. When a man defaults on his duties towards his wife, this
constitutes sufficient ground for the nullification of the marriage, if
an Islamic court determines that the situation cannot be mended. Such
annulification can be enforced despite the objections of the defaulting
husband. Every married woman is entitled to have a decent home of the
standard to which women in her social status are accustomed. If she
agrees to marry a man of limited innete, she implicitly consents to
have a home of the standard her husband can afford. Whatever may be the
family circumstances, her right to a decent home is undeniable. This is
part of something greater to which she is also entitled by right,
namely, a family atmosphere based on care, affection and netpassion. In
short, a homely life. It is well known that Islam allows a man to
marry up to four wives at a time. When a man intends to marry a second
wife, it is not obligatory that he should seek or obtain his first
wife’s consent. But she remains entitled to all her rights and
privileges. The second wife also enjoys similar rights. Both of them
are entitled to equal standard. He cannot, say, give one of them a
detached two-story villa with a garden and acnetmodate the other in a
small apartment in a large block of flats. If he does that, then he is
guilty of unfair and unequal treatment. When we consider this very
carefully, we realize that it is the duty of any man who intends to
marry a second wife to make sure that he can support both of them on an
equal basis. The Qur’anic instruction is very clear: “If you fear that
you may not treat them equally, then limit yourself to one (wife).” It
may so happen that a married man finds himself deep in love with
another woman and she consents to be his wife, knowing that he is of
limited means. He should reflect, however, that marriage is not a
temporary arrangement. He must never overlook his duties toward his
first wife, or indeed the second. The first question he should ask
himself is whether he would be able to maintain two homes. It is not
lawful for a man who has married two women to force them to live in the
same house, whether it is big or small, unless both of them agree to
that arrangement without coercion. This is due to the fact that in such
circumstances it is only natural for them to harbour feelings of
jealousy and hostility toward each other. Each of them will be always
on the watch, trying to discover any sign of favouritism which her
husband shows toward his other wife. That will inevitably lead to
endless quarrels and the atmosphere in the family home will be
unhealthy for the upbringing of the children. Moreover, why should a
wife be exposed to such a situation which enhances ill-feelings. On the
basis of this, it is perfectly legitimate for the first wife to tell
her husband when he embarks on a second marriage that he must not at
any time enforce on her the burden of sharing her home with his second
wife. If she makes that clear to him and he nevertheless tries to
impose it, then this constitutes a basis for the nullification of the
marriage, if she so desires. She will be entitled to all her rights.
Having said that, I realize that not every woman who finds herself in
such a situation would like to have her marriage nullified. A wife may
still be young and she may have young children who need to have both
their parents around. She may have no feasible alternative. If she gets
her marriage nullified, she may face the problem of being separated
from her children. Many a woman would sacrifice her happiness in order
to stay with her children. Therefore, it is only right that a woman is
given the freedom of choice with regard to the type of home she may
have when her husbands marries a second or a third wife. As I have
already said, a man may not force his two wives to share one house
without their consent. If both of them agree to such sharing, they are
forgoing part of their right and this must be on the basis of free
choice. A husband may arrange for both his wives to have separate
rooms in one house only if such is the nature of housing people in the
same social status as his wives have. If, for example, a man’s wife
netes from a family which shares her home with another family, then
such a shared acnetmodation is the type of her equals. He may, then,
ask her to have separate rooms in a house which she shares with his
other wife. When we consider all this, we find that in the case the
(lady) reader cites, the husband will be ill-advised to marry a second
wife. His netpany is unlikely to give him a second home for the second
wife. Therefore, he will have to rent a flat for her which will
constitute a heavy financial burden and will take a considerable
portion of his innete. If he is thinking of getting both his wives to
share his small acnetmodation, he is depriving both of them of their
rights. As we have said, he cannot do that unless both of them freely
consent. What we have also to consider is that Islam allows polygamy
only as a solution to social problems. When a man is happy with his
family life with his first wife, he should not think of marrying again.
His own happiness is at stake. Having said that, it is perhaps valid to
say that a man does not normally think of a second marriage, if he is
happy with his first wife. When a woman finds herself threatened with
the prospect of having to share her husband with another woman, she
should examine her situation very carefully and think whether her
husband is motivated to take such a step by the lack of happiness in
the family home. Perhaps she may do something about that to ensure that
everyone of her family is leading a happy life. The other point the
lady reader raises is whether it is permissible for a man who is
married to a Muslim wife to choose a Christian for his second wife. The
answer is that it is permissible, but far from renetmended. What we
have also to understand is that Islam may permit certain things but it
advises its followers against resorting to them. We know that divorce
is permissible, but is one legal thing which Allah dislikes most. Allah
would not have allowed it, had it not been for the fact that there is a
certain social need for its legality. The same applies to marrying a
woman who adheres to another faith. The problems which may arise in
such a marriage are enormous, but it has been legalized nevertheless
because there are circumstances which make it the most practical
solution.
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News – Jeddah )