Q506 :A friend of mine back home has written to me
about a problem he is facing. A woman who has a highly influential
position has been pressing him to have an illegitimate relationship
with her, threatening that his refusal will bring him considerable
problems in his job. I have counseled him not to listen to her
advances, especially as she is married and has children. How best to
strengthen his attitude in refusing her?
A506 : The first thing which occurs to me is that
what this woman is asking him to do something which represents a
contravention of Islamic teachings. In other words, she is pressuring
him to get involved with her in something which constitutes
disobedience to Allah. If he yields to her temptation or to her
threats, then he is obeying her and disobeying Allah. Islam lays down a
basic rule which states: “No creature may be obeyed in what constitutes
disobedience to Allah.” This principle negates any authority she may
have over him, which means that if she is his superior at work, he may
act on her instructions with regard to the execution of his job but not
in establishing a relationship beyond their official duties. Therefore,
the choice that your friend faces is one between following his faith
and following this woman. If he weighs up the consequences, then he
will be able to resist her advances. This man should reflect on what
the Prophet tells us about the great reward Allah has in store for a
person who resists such temptation. The Prophet mentions seven types of
people who he says will enjoy the shelter of Allah on the day of
judgment when there is no shelter to be sought other than that of
Allah. These include “a man tempted by a woman of influence and wealth
but he answers, I fear Allah.” There is, therefore, a powerful answer
which should strengthen your friend in his resolve not to respond to
this woman. He should remember that yielding to her temptation will
incur Allah’s displeasure while resisting her will ensure a great
reward. Your friend may be worried about what this woman may do to
him, using her power and influence, if he proves that he is a tough nut
to crack. He may worry that he may lose his job or he may be
transferred to a remote area, etc. These are genuine worries which may
be very significant. Perhaps a good way to calm his worries is to study
the surah entitled “Yousuf”. He will find that a young man destined to
benete a prophet faced the same temptation by his master’s wife and his
resistance meant that he was imprisoned for several years. When he was
threatened with imprisonment, he was very certain of his answer: “He
said, My Lord, imprisonment is more pleasant to me than that to which
they are inviting me.” He appealed to Allah for assistance and Allah
answered his prayers. Therefore, your friend should rely on Allah to
help him get through this difficulty. He must trust that Allah’s help
is sure to nete, but he may be tested and the test may be severe. If he
proves to be firm in his faith, determined to please Allah, giving any
sacrifice that he may be called upon to give in order to earn His
pleasure, he will eventually be rewarded for his determination both in
this life and in the life to nete. The imprisonment of Prophet Yousuf
was an example of what such a test may involve. In prison, Yousuf
continued to call on his fellow prisoners to believe in Allah and to
disown all false beliefs. He submitted to Allah’s will and did not
grumble or netplain at being imprisoned. Hence, when he proved his
dedication to his faith, Allah rewarded him and he was taken out of
prison to be given a high position in government. Your friend may
lose his job as a result of resisting this woman. He may be even put to
a severer test. But if he proves his strength of faith, then he will
find that such an adversity is tolerable when he realizes that it is
netbined with earning Allah’s pleasure. Your friend will do well to
reflect very coolly on his position and what options are open to him
and what are the likely consequences of each option. Let him consider
that no one can deprive another of something that Allah has determined
to give him. The provisions of every single person are sure to reach
him, if he works for them. No one can stop what Allah wishes to bring
us. Consider this authentic Hadith related by Al-Tirmithi and reported
by the Prophet’s learned cousin, Abdullah ibn Abbas: “One day I was
riding behind the Prophet (peace be upon him) and he said to me: Young
man, I shall teach you some words of advice. Be mindful of Allah and
Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him in
front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek the help
of Allah. Know that if the whole nation were to gather to benefit you
with anything, they would benefit you only with something that Allah
has already assigned to you and that if they gather to harm you with
anything, they will harm you only with something Allah had already
determined for you.” Another version of this Hadith states: “Get to
know Allah in prosperity and He will know you in adversity. Know that
what has passed you by was not going to befall you and that which has
befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory netes
with patience, relief with affliction and ease with hardship.” What
your friend should reflect on in the light of the aforementioned Hadith
is that it is possible that he loses his job for some other reason. He
may respond to this woman for fear of losing his job, and then he finds
himself losing the job anyway for some other reason or even for the
same reason, such as by being made redundant through the discovery of
his affair with this woman. In this case, she may make him a scapegoat
and use her influence to get him punished for trying to seduce her
rather then being seduced. He will then end up losing on every account.
In order to avoid such a prospect, he should be convinced that
offending her in order to please Allah is the only course for him to
follow. If he offends Allah in order to please her, he will end up in
utter ruin.
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News – Jeddah )