Q607 :Social and cultural pressures are such that
women in our society do not cover their hair. Those who do, have been
associated with trends imported from Iran. I have no wish that I or my
wife be associated with any group or sect. Will I be less of a Muslim
if I disallow my wife to cover her hair when we return home? I will be
grateful for your advice, since the subject is creating a rift between
my wife and myself.
A607 : It is true that Muslim netmunities have
ignored over the years some of the Islamic practices which are in favor
of different social and cultural traditions. In some Asian Muslim
countries, the requirements of Islamic dress for women continued to be
unobserved, generation after generation. When you go to these countries
and you speak to Muslims there, you feel as if they have not heard of
the Islamic requirements that women should cover their heads. But this
is by no means limited to this particular aspect or to Asian countries.
In some places, certain traditions and social customs continued to
prevail in Muslim netmunities although Islam prohibits, or at least
frowns at them. Yet the Islamic requirements and duties are the same
throughout the world and they are required of every individual. As you
realize, every Muslim, man or woman, is accountable for his or her
deeds. He or she has to answer to Allah directly on the day of
judgment. Hence, everyone is required to learn what duties Islam
expects of him or her to fulfill. Those who do not inquire about these
put themselves into a very difficult position, because ignorance of the
law is not an acceptable justification for breaking it. Allah has made
our duties known to us through the Prophet. He has revealed the Qur’an
and guaranteed that it will be preserved intact so that Muslims can
have easy access to it and learn their duties properly. On the other
hand, it is not unnetmon for a netmunity or society to change their
practices once a trend begins to take place, particularly if that trend
is associated with a sustained information campaign. Let me give you an
example. The major fashion houses in Europe are able to bring out every
few years a netplete change of what is socially acceptable and what is
unacceptable in respect of women’s dress. In the 1960s these fashion
houses started the trend of mini-skirts and were able to spread it
through sustained aggressive marketing, to the extent that it was
practically impossible for any woman in the west to buy a ready-to-wear
knee-length skirt. The miniskirt was able to find its way into a number
of Muslim countries where it became a familiar sight in large cities,
although the social and moral opposition to it was much stronger in
these countries. In the mid-seventies, the same fashion houses scrapped
the miniskirts and reverted to longer dresses. The result of their
effort was a continued acceptance of very short dresses in many
netmunities. To give an example in the opposite trend, we need only to
look at Egypt, a naturally devout Muslim country. In the fifties and
sixties of this century, you could walk for days on end in the streets
of Cairo and Alexandria without meeting a single woman wearing proper
Islamic dress, which covered her head, arms and legs. Today, more than
half of Egyptian women in Cairo and other cities conform
conscientiously to the requirements of Islamic dress, without giving
any appearance of a uniform, national type. The sum-up of both examples
is that it is possible to change social and cultural traditions,
without being equipped with the force of law, as in the case of Iran.
What is needed for such a change is, as I have already mentioned, a
sustained information effort and a number of individuals to take the
lead and make their presence felt. It is of utmost importance,
therefore, that scholars and those who are well-read in Islamic
teachings, make a determined effort to change the social practices and
traditions in their netmunities which are in conflict with Islamic
teachings. I believe that if scholars in your netmunity make such an
effort, and find good response by young men and women, without bringing
their case to a stage of polarization, then the proper Islamic dress
will gradually find its way into your netmunity. It will be only a few
years before it takes hold and benetes the accepted norm. What we have
to remember in such a situation is that a change is required by Allah
Himself. He has revealed His message to us so that we put it in
practice. If we were to continue with our social traditions which are
contrary to Islam, while giving lip service to Islamic teachings and
limiting our knowledge of the Qur’an to occasional recitation at social
functions, then we are guilty of turning our back on the Qur’an. We
will find it very difficult to account for such a negligent attitude on
the day when Allah gathers us to His presence and requires everyone of
us to account for his or her attitudes and actions. Your netmunity is
required, collectively and individually to change its tradition so that
Muslim women are dressed as Islam requires. This means that your whole
netmunity is jointly and severally responsible for bringing about such
a change. In other words, every individual in that netmunity bears a
share of that responsibility. How can this be achieved, unless a few of
your number rise up to the occasion and start a social trend? It seems
to me from the drift of your letter that your wife is willing to play
such a leading role, and that perhaps there are other women in the
netmunity who have started to do so. You, on the other hand, find it
too much of a burden to help her take such a lead. Well, I can tell you
that you are putting yourself in a very difficult position and assuming
an authority which does not belong to you. It is better that you should
know what you and your wife can or cannot do so that you may be on your
guard. It is not permissible for you to instruct your wife not to
cover her head, or to disallow her to cover it. You may not even try to
persuade her to do so. If she wants to do her Islamic duty, you cannot
put your foot down against it. If you, nevertheless, do that and ask
her not to cover her head, she would not be doing anything wrong if she
ignores your instructions. Indeed, she should ignore them. If she obeys
you, she is not free of blame. She cannot try to justify her attitude
in front of Allah, on the day of judgment, by saying that she only
obeyed you as a Muslim woman should obey her husband. The operative
rule in this case is that “no creature may be obeyed in what
constitutes disobedience to Allah”. Exposing her head in public
constitutes such a disobedience. Hence, she may not obey you in that.
As an educated person, you should speak out when you go home that
Islamic dress is not imported from Iran and is not a mark of what is
wrongly termed as “fundamentalism”. Islamic dress is Islamic and it
applies to all Muslim women. Those who wear it are virtuous,
God-fearing, obedient Muslim women. They should be respected and
congratulated on their efforts. Having said that, my advice to you is
to adopt a more understanding attitude. You should cooperate with your
wife so that your family life is free of tension and pressure and the
like. You should try to understand each other’s point of view. You
should indeed help her lead a proper Islamic life. You ask a pointed
question, saying: “Am I less of a Muslim for doing so and so?” This is
a question that I simply cannot answer. Who am I to judge you or anyone
else? You may be a much better Muslim than me and [better] than many
others who make extravagant claims that they follow Islamic teachings
conscientiously. It is Allah alone who judges people. He knows
perfectly well their motives, intentions and attitudes. His judgment of
them is made on the basis of His perfect knowledge. That does not stop
me, however, from telling you that if you prevent your wife from
wearing Islamic dress, you do something very grave. You assume an
authority which does not belong to you. You should be careful lest you
incur Allah’s displeasure for that. But even if you do that, you should
continue to attend to your other Islamic duties. Indeed, you should
show much stronger determination to fulfill your Islamic duties and to
other voluntary actions, such as giving much in sadaqah, and pray Allah
for forgiveness. As we are all liable to sins, we should remember to do
more good actions in the hope that they will help bring us Allah’s
forgiveness. For He says in the Qur’an: “Indeed, good deeds annul bad
ones.” (11;114). One last word: do not allow this tension to cause
your separation from your good wife. She is only trying to lead an
Islamic life. Indeed, she should have looked up to you for support. If
you do split, you may regret your decision for the rest of your life.
Therefore, do not be hasty and always look at the good side in your
wife’s character.
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News – Jeddah )