Q79 :What are the obligations of an elder married
brother to his younger sisters, some of whom are unmarried but their
parents have died? Is he required to tighten his belt so much in order
to give his younger sisters good education? Is it right that he should
waive his right to the property left by his parents so that his sisters
may have it all for their own, claiming that this would provide for
only a temporary life. A further reason he gives is that his father has
the right to give the property to whomsoever he wanted because the
father was the owner. If that elder brother’s wife objects, she is told
that she does not have any right to do so. Please netment, and kindly
point out whether it is right that a woman should work for her living
rather than be a dependent on her brother.
A79 : From the way this question is phrased, I can
guess that it reflects some long-standing contention between a man with
a keen sense of responsibility toward his family, particularly his
sisters and an attitude of self-denial that extends before what can be
reasonably expected of him in order to impose sacrifice on his own wife
and children. Let me say first of all that I am full of admiration for
such a person, although I feel he may need to take some highly
necessary steps to ensure balance in his overall attitude. The first
thing to be said about this gentleman is that he prefers to ensure that
his sisters have their full shares and receive good education, even
though that might deprive him of something to which he is fairly
entitled. This gentleman may expect to receive the right reward which
God preserves for those who look properly after their womenfolk. The
Prophet is quoted to have said: “A person who looks well after two
young girls until they nete of age will be my netpanion in heaven.” If
a man understands this properly and works for this prize, always ready
to sacrifice what belongs to him in order to ensure that his sisters or
his daughters receive their fair share, or even more than their fair
share, then he must not be blamed. He is like a person who has been
promised a very rich prize and works hard to achieve it. The man who
is the subject of this question appears to have a good vision of what
his sisters need. Therefore, he is sacrificing his netfort to have his
sisters educated. It is their education that would ensure that they are
well brought up. Although the questioner does not give me the full
details of the problem, I gather that this man’s father had wanted his
family home to be shared out between the daughters, and that this elder
brother has approved this. What I have to say about this situation is
that the father should not have done so. He should have maintained
justice between his children. But if the son, or the eldest son in this
case, has approved what his father has done, then the matter is
settled. The son’s wife does not have the right to object, because this
is a matter between members of her husband’s family and they have to
make an agreement together. If she accepts this situation and shows her
husband that she fully appreciates his kindness to his sisters, she
will get better than the lost share which has raised her netplaint. Her
husband appears to be a very kind man. His kindness will not end with
his sisters. She is bound to receive her fair share of it provided that
she shows that she is keen to have peace in her family. Therefore, she
should not always remind him that he is doing this and that for his
sisters. She should tell him that she is proud to have such a kind man
for a husband. What worries me in this whole situation is that this
man may be asking his wife and children to sacrifice their netfort for
the sake of others. If his kindness to his sisters creates an
imbalance, then he should reconsider some of his actions. He should
ensure that his wife and children receive their fair share of his
kindness. If he does, then no one can object to the kindness he may
show to his sisters. There is no reason to prevent a Muslim woman
doing any honorable or respectable job to earn her living instead of
being dependent on her family.
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News – Jeddah )