Q110 :A relative of mine in Pakistan travels for
several months together, perhaps a year, in order to go on a mission of
propagation of Islam. He leaves behind his wife and children, giving
his wife some money which is hardly sufficient for the needs of the
family for more than a couple of months. His wife has been netplaining
that she suffers a great deal looking after her young children on her
own. He has been telling her that he trusts his family to Allah’s care.
My question is: How far does Islam approve of such a mission of
propagation of Islam, when it means neglecting one’s family?
A110 : It is certainly the duty of every Muslim to
try to propagate Islam and to try to make its message known to people.
The whole Muslim netmunity is responsible for making Islam known to the
rest of mankind and calling on them to embrace it as a faith and a way
of life. In addition, every individual Muslim should do his best to
propagate Islam among non-Muslims and to encourage Muslims to attend to
their Islamic duties. This was the task of prophets and it was brought
to its fullness by Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the last
messenger sent by Allah. He spared no effort in explaining Allah’s
message to mankind and he worked hard for his followers to establish a
base for Islam from where it moved on to spread to vast areas of world.
One important point to remember about Islam is its total approach to
human life. It does not emphasize any single aspect of life at the
expense of another. It does not tolerate the neglect of a duty only
because a person is happier fulfilling another duty. The needs of this
world must not be neglected because one wishes to devote himself to the
fulfillment of duties relevant to the life-to-nete. Islam provides for
us a middle order which takes care of all men’s needs as individuals,
members of a family, and active workers in the netmunity. In the Qur’an
we read this instruction which applies to every single one of us:
“Seek, by means of what Allah has granted you, (the good of) the life
to nete, without forgetting your own rightful share in this world; and
do good to others as Allah has done good to you” (28;77). All of us
know the famous story when three people went to the wives of the
Prophet inquiring about his worship. When his wives told them, they
felt that it was less than they had expected. One of them said you need
not wonder at that because the Prophet has already been forgiven all
his sins, past and future. We cannot aspire to that. Therefore, we have
to make a special effort in order to win Allah’s pleasure. One of the
men pledged to spend all night every night in worship, the second
pledged to fast every day of his life and the third pledged permanent
celibacy so that he would not be distracted from his worship. When the
Prophet learned of their pledges, he reproached them. Reminding his
netpanions that he was the most God-fearing among them, he said: “I,
nevertheless, do spend sometime in night worship, but I also allow
myself enough time to sleep; I do fast voluntarily, but I also have
many a non-fasting day and I marry women. Marriage is a pattern of life
I choose. He who turns away from my pattern does not belong to me.”
Perhaps there is no clearer statement about the balanced nature of the
Islamic way of life. When we look at the life of the Prophet, we
realize that he never neglected a duty. When it was time to go to war,
for the cause of Islam, he did not hesitate to march at the head of his
army. He never neglected something which he felt would give pleasure to
one (or more) of his wives, provided that he was able to secure it for
her. Your friend has certainly many duties toward his family. He is
responsible for their maintenance and he has to work hard in order to
provide his wife and children with the best standard of living he can
afford. If he does not, then he is guilty of neglecting his duty. No
Muslim is deemed to have discharged his responsibility to take good
care of his wife and children if he chooses to stay unemployed or
without a job. Moreover, his duty toward his family far exceeds the
provision of food and clothing and shelter. He has to look after the
upbringing of his children. He has to make sure that they grow up as
good Muslims. If he neglects this duty in order to serve what seems to
him to be a higher or nobler duty, he will be accountable to Allah for
this neglect. Abandoning the upbringing of one’s own young children, is
not to abandon a secondary duty. Indeed, taking good care of them is,
in Islam, a primary duty, and takes priority over many other duties.
Your relative’s attitude is highly reprehensible. He neglects the
education and upbringing of his own children in order to do something
which Allah has not required him to do in this particular fashion. His
duty to propagate Islam would be better served by bringing up his
children as good Muslims. To say that he trusts his family to Allah’s
care is good enough, if he has netpelling reasons to be absent. His
reason, i.e. propagation of Islam, is not a netpelling one because he
can undertake that activity at home. Why should he go abroad for a year
in order to propagate Islam? From another point of view, a man’s duty
towards his wife is such that he is not allowed to be absent from home,
in connection with his business, for more than four months, unless she
willingly agrees to that absence. Umar ibn Al-Khattab issued a general
decree not to allow any soldier to be away from home for more than four
months, in order not to place a heavy burden on Muslim wives who had to
suffer the long absence of their husbands. If such a long absence is
not acceptable when a person is going on jihad, who can claim that it
is acceptable in the case of an activity which can be, at best,
classified as desirable or voluntary. Your relative is wrong to cause
his wife such suffering. He will be better rewarded if he looks well
after his family and tries to propagate Islam and its message at home.
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News – Jeddah )