Q137 :When a member of the family dies, what sort of
mourning is allowed?
A137 : Different societies have different customs
and traditions associated with death in the family. In non-Islamic
societies, there are visible signs of mourning which are supposed to
convey grief. People, especially women, should wear black for a certain
period, according to the degree of their relation with the deceased.
Men may wear a black tie, etc. In certain netmunities, death is marked
by loud crying and tearing of clothes, etc. All this is forbidden in
Islam. This does not preclude that people may grieve for their
deceased and they may express their grief with shedding tears. This
sort of crying must not be acnetpanied by wailing. That is un-Islamic.
The maximum period of mourning for a woman is three days, if the
deceased is a very close relation to her, but not her husband. In other
words, mourning for a deceased father, son or brother may be only over
a period of three days, after that, she must show her acceptance of
Allah’s verdict. We have a report of two cases of the Prophet’s
wives, Um Habiba and Zainab. The first lost her father, Abu Sufian, and
the other lost her brother. After three days, in each case, each of
them requested perfume to wear. Both of them said that they had no
desire whatsoever to wear perfume, but they had heard the Prophet
saying: “It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the day
of judgement to be in mourning for any deceased person for over three
nights, except for her husband when the period of mourning is four
months and ten days.” As you realize, this is the length of the
waiting period of a widow. During her waiting period, she must not
wear make-up.
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News – Jeddah )