Q170 :The prohibition of the oath of desertion
A170 : One of the aspects of Islam’s concern for
the rights of women is that it prohibits a man to be so angry with his
wife as to discontinue sexual relations with her for a period which she
cannot bear. If this abandonment of sexual relations is acnetpanied by
an oath on his part, he is given a limit of four months in which to
calm down and revert to her. If he netes to his norms and resumes
sexual relations before the expiration of the four months, it is
possible that Allah may forgive him for his excesses and open the door
of repentance to him; however, he must still do the penance prescribed
for a broken oath. If, on the other hand, this period expires and he
has not returned to her, his wife is divorced from him as a just
punishment for his neglect of her rights. Some jurists hold that the
divorce is automatic at the expiry of four months and no judgement from
a court is needed. Others, however, require that at the end of the
period the matter should be referred to the judicial authority, who
will then give them the option of reconciliation or divorce. [Added:
That is variable in keeping the laws of various countries, but
religiouly they are automatically divorced.] Such an oath of
abstention from the wife is technically known in the Shari’ah as eela.
Concerning it Allah Ta’ala says: For those who take an oath of
abstention from their wives, a waiting period of four months (is
ordained); if they return, indeed, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. But if
their intention is firm for divorce, then, indeed, (Allah) is Hearing,
Knowing.(2:226-227) This period of four months has been specified to
give the husband ample time to calm himself and to restore the
relationship of his volition. Moreover, four months is normally
regarded as the maximum period a woman can endure separation from her
husband. Commentators on the Qur’an narrate the following incident in
support of this opinion: Caliph Umar found that a woman’s husband had
been gone on a military expedition for a long time. He then asked his
daughter Hafsah, the widow of the Prophet, “How long can a woman endure
separation from her husband?” She replied, “Four months.” Subsequently,
the caliph of the Believers decided that he would not send a married
man away from his wife for a period exceeding four months.
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News – Jeddah )