Q359 :I have been married for five years, but
recently my wife’s conduct toward me has changed dramatically. She
always quarrels with me for the most trivial things. Recently, I saw a
photograph of her taken in a restaurant with a man sitting with her
over a cup of coffee. Since then, I have been thinking certainly about
divorce. May I seek your advice and also ask what should be a man’s
attitude in such a situation.
A359 : The first part of this question is better
referred to a marriage counselor rather than to a person like myself
who looks at problems purely from the Islamic angle. It is not for me
to pinpoint the causes for a change of behavior between married
partners. What I can say, however, is that both man and wife must
always be kind to each other and respect the rights of the other
spouse, trying always to consolidate their relationship on the basis of
mutual care and netpassion. I can advise my reader, however, that he
should try to determine the causes which have brought about the change
in his wife’s behavior and try to remedy those causes. I can also tell
him that Allah has permitted divorce as a means to solve intractable
marital problems. If he feels that his marriage has run into such a
problem, then divorce is an option which he may consider. In divorce,
the rights of the other party must always be respected and the duties
of each of them should be honored. The second part of the question
asks about different possibilities when a man finds his wife in an
unnetpromising situation. The answer is that he should try not to lose
control of himself. Islam has provided a method to deal with such
situations which gives everyone his or her dues. If a man accuses his
wife of adultery and he can produce no witnesses to corroborate his
claim, he is required to testify under oath five times that his
accusation is true, adding in the fifth that he invokes Allah’s curse
on himself if he is lying. The wife will receive no punishment if she
repels that charge with a testimony of her own. She has to swear five
times by Allah that his charge is false, calling down Allah’s wrath
upon herself if it is true. If both man and wife go through this
process of testifying under oath, and the man accuses his wife and she
denies the charge, each of them swearing five time to assert his or her
position, their marriage is automatically nullified and they cannot be
remarried under any circumstances, whatsoever.
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News – Jeddah )