Q413 :May I ask about the duties of a daughter
towards a mother, who very frequently gets into fits of temper and
abuses her for no reason. When this benetes very frequent, it has very
depressing effect. One feels one’s unimportance very keenly and gets
black thoughts.
A413 : Every child, son or daughter, must be
obedient, dutiful and kind to his or her parents. Even when a parent is
unjustifiably harsh to a child, that child must not exceed the limits
of dutifulness towards his parent. He must always treat them with the
respect they deserve. Having said that, however, I must add that
parents are also expected to treat their children kindly. They should
show understanding and recognize that the needs of their children are
different from their needs when they were of a similar age. Times
differ and so do values, standards and concerns. Sometimes, a parent
unnecessarily ill-treats a child. If that does not reach physical
abuse, a child should bear that ill-treatment patiently and try to
remedy the situation with understanding. It is when respect of a parent
benetes difficult, due to the unreasonableness of the latter, that such
respect when maintained is highly rewarded by Allah. If a parent easily
gets into a fit of temper, the child should avoid causing such a
situation. If it nevertheless happens, the child should help cooling it
off by showing good manners and not replying to criticism. That does
not only help make family life happier; it also earns high reward from
Allah.
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News – Jeddah )