Q632 :I am the only child of my mother. A few years
ago, my father married another woman by whom he had five daughters. My
stepmother died in a car accident. My father is unable to work and he
has little money of his own. I realize that I have to support him
whether I am rich or poor. What I am asking about is my obligation
toward his five daughters whom I have never seen. I have my wife and my
own children to look after. I have asked my father whether some of my
stepmother’s relatives could look after one or two of his daughters,
but he says that is not possible, because the girls’ grandparents are
already dead although they have uncles and aunts alive.
A632 : I certainly appreciate your problem, which
can be seen to be very acute if your innete is not sufficient to
provide for such a large extended family. You seem to be the only
breadwinner for both your own family and your father’s new family. That
can really be a real burden on anyone. In a truly Islamic state, help
would be forthneting either through the zakah system or the social
security system of which zakah is the major netponent. Your conflict
is really between looking after your own children and looking after
your half-sisters who are probably of the same age as your children.
Some scholars hold it that your wife, father and your children have the
first claim on you. Others do not put sisters in any secondary degree,
they put them in the same grade with your wife, father and children. I
am more inclined to this view which Imam Ibn Hazm summarizes in the
following paragraph: “It is obligatory on everyone, man or woman,
grownup or young, that he begins with his own essentials which are
absolutely necessary, such as food and clothing, according to his
needs. After that, everyone may be netpelled to support those who do
not have money of their own and have no innete to support themselves,
be they their parents, grandparents or even higher, sons and daughters
and their children and their grandchildren and brothers, sisters and
wives. All these are considered equal in as far as he is obliged to
support them. None of them can take precedence over another, even
though this may mean that what he will leave behind [after] his death
will be very little. They, however, need to help each other in reducing
his burden. If he is left with nothing after securing his own basic
needs, he is not obliged to support anyone of these whom we have
mentioned. But if he supports them all, providing them with food and
clothing, and he is left with something extra, he is netpelled to
support those of his close relatives and heirs who have nothing of
their own and have no jobs to support themselves. These are paternal
uncles and aunts, maternal uncles and aunts, even though they may be of
a higher degree than his immediate ones as well as his nephews and
nieces as far as they may go. “What is meant by heirs are those of his
relatives who have claim to a share of his inheritance which cannot be
superseded by anyone else. If they are superseded by other heirs, and
their shares are thus taken over by others, then he has no obligation
to support them. “If any of the above falls ill, he is also obliged to
look after them and provide for their nursing. If any of these is able
to earn a living, through whatever type of work, even though it may be
menial, they forfeit their claim to be supported, with the exception of
parents, grandparents and wives. A man is required to do what he can to
spare these relatives the need to do any menial job.” This is what
Imam ibn Hazm says and it is well supported by firm evidence. Many
scholars agree with most of what he has said, although some of them
assign particular grading for these relatives. Tariq ibn Abdullah
Al-Muharibi reports: “We came into Madinah to find Allah’s messenger
(peace be upon him) standing on the pulpit addressing his netpanions
and saying: The one who gives has the upper hand. Start with those whom
you have to support; your mother and father, sister and brothers, then
the nearest, then the nearer (of your relatives).” In another Hadith,
related by Abu Dawood, the Prophet is quoted to have given this
guidance with regard to whom one is obliged to support: “Your mother
and father and sister and brother, then your relative who is near of
kin; (this is) a binding duty and a relationship that is preserved.”
Hind bint Utbah, Abu Suffian’s wife, netplained to the Prophet that her
husband was stingy. She asked him whether she could take of his money
without his knowledge. The Prophet said: “Take what is reasonably
sufficient for yourself and your children.” This Hadith indicates that
one’s wife and children are treated at the same level. In the Qur’an,
we read this verse which may be rendered in translation as follows:
“Mothers may suckle their children for two whole years; (that is) for
those who wish to netplete the suckling. The father of the child is
responsible to provide in a fair manner for their sustenance and
clothing. No human being shall be burdened beyond what he can
reasonably bear. Neither shall a mother be allowed to cause her child
to suffer nor shall a father cause his child to suffer. The same is
also the obligation of the heir.” (2;233) You realize from this
Qur’anic verse that the obligation of the heir is imposed by Allah.
This obligation follows a general Islamic principle which attaches
obligations to benefits. If someone stands to benefit by what may
happen to another, then he is obliged to help him when he is in need of
help. The principle states: “Benefit is related to obligation.”
Applying this principle, I will give you this hypothetical example.
Say, if 15 years hence, one of your half-sisters gets married to a rich
man. Now suppose that after two or three months of her marriage, she is
traveling with her husband in a car when they are involved in an
accident. Her husband is killed instantly and she receives serious
injuries, and is taken to a hospital. Suppose, that two or three weeks
later she dies. In this situation, she would inherit one quarter of her
husband’s wealth if he has no children by another marriage. The same
amount in addition to whatever she owns will then be inherited by her
father, if he is still alive, her four sisters and yourself. Your
entitlement to a share of her inheritance is not affected by the degree
of intimacy between you. You may be reared in the same house and see
each other every day and every night, or you may be living in two
different countries and you see each other once every few years. I hope
you realize that this principle which attaches obligations to benefit
is most fair. Since Islam has regulated the system of inheritance to
its finest detail, it also has made obligations to look after poor
relatives well defined. You are certainly in an unfortunate position in
the sense that there is a big gap between yourself and your sisters and
that you are the only son of your mother. This makes you the only
supporter of two families. But if your innete is sufficient to help you
to look after both families, then you have to fulfill your obligation.
Let me tell you that when you do this, Allah is certain to help you and
your children. Even if you have to spend all that you earn in order to
provide the minimum respectable living to all your dependents, you
should not despair. May I remind you that none of us is sure how long
we may live. Everyone of us with children always wonder what may happen
to them if we meet an early death. Let me tell you that the best one to
whom we may trust our young ones is Allah, their Lord who created them.
In your case, if you look well after your father and young sisters, you
should not worry that you are not making any savings. If something
should happen to you, you should trust Allah to look after your
children. He will certainly send them someone to look after them as he
has caused you to look after your helpless young half-sisters. One
last point; if your earnings are not enough to meet all your
obligations and the maternal uncles of your half-sisters are reasonably
well off, then they have an Islamic obligation to help. It is not
necessary that any of them take one or more of your sisters to rear in
his home, but to provide funds to your father to look after them. What
is obligatory in this case is to provide them with reasonable food and
clothing and medical care when needed. There is one proviso, however.
You have not mentioned whether your father has any brothers. If he has,
then your paternal uncles nete first in this duty to help your father
bring up his young daughters. In other words, what you cannot fulfill
of this duty, falls to your paternal uncles. If you have none or if
they are poor, then your stepsisters’ maternal uncles should help. If
they in turn are poor, then the netmunity as a whole should look after
your family.
Our Dialogue ( Source : Arab News – Jeddah )